Don't Forget

Don't forget to come check out my new home! Mama's Losing It! I also made a Google+ page, Facebook page and Twitter!

Moving On

It seems like its been much longer than 5 months since I started this blog.  It seems even stranger to be saying this is going to be the last post.

But this is not the end!  I'm just moving... And I'm really hoping everyone follows me over to Mama's Losing It.  All of my posts from this blog has been merged with my posts from Dreaming of Baby.  I will continue to post about my weight loss journey, including my weekly weigh ins and exercise, along with my family life and parenting.

So please head on over to Mama's Losing It. and check out my first post A New Beginning surprise, surprise it is weight loss oriented!

Weekly Weigh In

    Well I think this is going to be my last Weekly Weigh in on this blog, but more about that in a minute…

I didn’t really know what I was expecting this week on the scale, but it certainly wasn’t what I saw…

182.8

That’s right, a gain of 2.8lbs.  I really don’t think it’s all actual fat, but more water weight.  Still, it’s not good.  I’m not happy about and it makes my emotional status from the last week even worse.

My emotions have been up and down.  I have felt discourage and defeated and then felt accomplishment and pride.  I’ve felt tired and moody and then excited and energized all in the same day.  It’s been a roller coaster of a week and this morning was just an awful end to that.  I was exhausted when I got up, but I did get up, I did put on my workout clothes and my running shoes.  I did my warm up, ran less than a minute and gave up.  I walked a few minutes and then felt like it was pointless and shut’er down.  I stood there leaning on the treadmill fighting with myself.  Asking myself why it is so hard today? Why can’t you push yourself?  What the hell is wrong with your mood, you know you’ll feel better if you run?

But I just couldn’t do it.  I lost the battle this morning.  Although I feel like crap inside today, I think I look pretty good outside (besides my hair, mad do I need to get it done).

I look better in this dress now than when I bought it!

I have decided that this weekend is being dedicated to 2 things.  1. My disaster of a house and 2. Making a meal plan for a week with extra meal ideas for a month.  

On Monday I will start tracking EVERYTHING again.  I need to, it’s how I started and it worked!  Hopefully while making out my meal plan I can write down the calories per serving of each so when it comes to tracking it’s just a matter of actually measuring the food.

I might all have a few dates with Jillian every week again.  I want to keep running, but I need to get more strength training in there.  I need to work on the core muscles harder.

As for this being my last weigh in on this blog… It’s because as of Monday I will be posting at Mamas-Losing-It.com  Feel free to head on over and take a peak.  I’m sure it will be changing some in the months to come, but I’m very excited to have it up and running.  In addition to writing about my weight loss, I will be writing about my family life, my kids and life in general.

Catching Up

I wish I could say I haven't been slacking, but the truth is I have.  Not intentionally, but some of it I have been completely aware of and done nothing to fix it.

Yesterday I hit a low.  After a night of drinking too much (I may or may not have expelled everything Sunday morning) and not eating healthy at all for 2 days I was really down on myself.  I didn't get to run Monday or Tuesday because the baby was up to eat once again at my run time.  But now all of a sudden it was taking 45 minutes to get her back to sleep.

I don't know why I drink.  I mean yeah I have fun when I'm doing it, but I always feel like crap about it and tend to get depressed for a few days after.  Yesterday when the hubby asked what was wrong I told him I just need a run, some sort of exercise.  There is more that could fix my mood, but it wouldn't be as quick as a good run or workout.

Well I got my run in this morning!  And the baby slept the whole time!  I think it's the longest run I've had in a while!

 I was very happy to see that even with not running for 4 days my pace wasn't effected and neither was my endurance.  I think I actually had more endurance today than last week.  Maybe it was just all the steam I was letting off?

I'm so happy to see that I'm averaging a 10:30 mile (the first mile had a 3 minute walk warm up).  I'm just happy to be able to run a 5k now.  Makes me wonder how I would actually do on pavement.  Maybe one of these weekends I'll try and find some where to run.  My house isn't exactly located in a friendly running area.

Today I'm feeling good.  I hope I get to run again tomorrow!

Weekly Weigh In

Well, let's get right to it...

I'm not all that pleased with this number.  I mean really, I couldn't lose another .1 to see that 179.9?  Oh well, it's going to be a good day anyway!

I had a great run this morning...

This is a pace I feel comfortable with and it would actually be better I didn't do a warm up and cool down.  I have to that early in the morning though.  This morning I was wishing I could run outside.  To feel like I'm going somewhere.  To really have my thoughts to myself and concentrate on just running, but it is what it is and for now this is what I have.  

Plus last night I had my highest consistent bowling scores.  I've been pretty steady at the 370 series scores.  Not stellar by any means, people aren't lining up to have me on their team, but when I started 2 years ago I could barely make a 300 series.  Well last night I had my first 400 series!  It was a 453 and my scores were consistent! 151, 161, 141.  Consistency it a big problem for me.  And I thought it was pretty neat they were all a difference of 10.

Now why am I really excited?   It's Sister's Weekend!  What is Sister's Weekend you ask?  It's a weekend where my MIL, her sister and SIL and her daughter and a family friend all go up to a cabin sit around in our pajamas, drinking beer, eating junk and watching movies.  It's every mom's dream!  I'm really gonna have to work my ass off next week.  The planned food: chicken wing dip, macaroni and cheese, ribs, cake balls, pumpkin truffles, breakfast casserole, spiced (rum) cider.  Part of me says take some healthy food, the other part says why bother?  We'll see...

Hope everyone has as good a weekend planned as I do!

Managing

I finally did it this morning. I got my ass out of bed, although I was freezing, put on my running clothes, and shoes and got on the treadmill.

It was a rough one today.  I knew it would be since I haven't run in almost a week.  Plus I forgot my water glass at home yesterday so I was dehydrated.  Boy was I right.  That dip is where I had to walk for a few minutes.  I can normally run through the side pain and it goes away, but this time it moved straight to my abs around my sternum and was SHARP, almost take your breath away sharp.  I had some water while I walked and got back at it.

And because I went at a slower pace (4.7) today I decided for the last 5 minutes I'd bump it up to 5.  I hate feeling like I want to keep going when I finish.  Makes me feel like I should have pushed harder.  Not that I wasn't sweaty and all, but if I can keep going, I want to do it.  Maybe tomorrow I'll try for the 3 miles at 5 again.  You know since I remembered my water today!

So I decided to step on the scale just to see how much damage my lack of exercise and water has done and I was surprised to find I'm at .4lb less than I was on weigh in day.  It has me motivated to be strong the next few days.  179 is so close I can taste it!

What's Up?

Ugh what is up with me?  I can't get my ass out of bed.  Yesterday Lillian woke up at 3.  Yes 3 and stayed awake.  She kept asking me to cuddle and when I tried to get up it was "where are you going?" so I stayed with her even though I didn't get any sleep.

Today I have no idea what happened.  I had my alarm set for 3:30, but when I woke up and actually looked at the clock it was 4:50.  Could I have really hit snooze that many times without realizing it?

I'm mad at myself and confused.  How could I have been so proud of myself last Thursday and now not be motivated enough to get my ass out of bed.  I want to see 179 so bad this week, but at this rate I'll be lucky to stay at 180!

hasfit.com

I MUST get my ass outta bed tomorrow!!!

Japanese Choclate

First off it's soooo yummy!

It really is smooth!

Individually wrapped

I really don't know which I like better!

And this is how close they leave it to my desk!

 I've done good, in the 5 days it's been here I've only had 6 pieces!

Weekly Weigh In

Only 3 more weeks and I will be half way to my goal of losing all this weight in 1 year.  I'm happy to say that I'm currently 3lbs past half way in the weight department.  Problem is, it's only going to get harder.  But that's Ok, if it were easy, everyone would be fit.

So here's this morning's date with the scale...

Down another 1.6lbs!  I can't wait to see the 170's next week!  I haven't been in the 170s since my honeymoon 5 years ago! I told the hubby about it this morning and he said "Wow, you're gonna catch me, I might actually have to exercise."  (He is at 176)
I told him "You bet your ass I'm gonna catch you! And run right past without looking back!"

Last night was bowling, which pretty much always means unhealthy eating and beer.  Well, yesterday morning was so motivational that I got a pizza and a LARGE salad for me.  I had the one smallest piece of pizza and my salad before leaving, only had ONE BEER (yeah don't know how I did that) and a small slice of pizza at bowling.  I was all about accomplishment yesterday!  Not so much today...

This morning's run wasn't any where near as motivating as yesterday's.  I almost didn't get up.  But I did, And I started to run, but my whole body felt like jello.  My muscles were sore and worn out from yesterday's run.  Driving home from work last night my thighs ached just driving.  So I walked for a mile this morning and called it quits.  Hey, it's better than nothing... And it took me a long time to get over that "All or nothing" attitude.

Have a good weekend my Peeps!  Get up, get out and get some exercise!

Skinny Jeans

I want to start off this post with a big thanks to Jenn for her post on Just Jenn yesterday.  She totally motivated my run this morning and I feel great!

My plan from yesterday worked!  I had my ass out of bed at 4 and ready to run by 4:10!  I literally had 2 seconds logged on the treadmill when Laney woke up.  I went, I fed her and oh so thankfully got her back to sleep by 4:30.

Since I knew the bottles and lunch were done I planned to run for 30 minutes.  I did a 3 minute warm up walk and bumped the pace up to 5mph.  It felt good to be moving.
Until about the 10 minute mark.  I was getting tired, a little winded and had that ache in my side.  I took a sip of water and said you can stop when you reach 3 miles or 30 minutes whichever comes first.
Over the next 10 minutes I got down on myself.  Why is this so hard?  Has my lack of exercise really done this much damage to my body?  I know I can do this!
When the 20 minute mark hit I felt like I was dying.  I wanted to stop.  I scolded myself: NO! You have to go at least another 5 minutes, then you can count the cool down as part of your 30 minutes. (In reality I haven't even run a full 20 minutes in probably 2 months).
The next 5 minutes I kept looking at my wedding picture (strategically placed next to the treadmill) and thinking, I've almost got you(only 7lbs away).  I'd look at the time and count down the minutes.
And when that clock hit 25:00 I said: You just did 5 minutes, you can do 5 more.  You aren't gonna puke or fall over, keep going...
And guess what?  I DID IT! And then continued with a 5 minute cool down.  I was actually surprised I didn't have runner's high, but I did and still do feel completely accomplished and proud of myself.  Especially after seeing this when logging in to Nike+ this morning...

That's right, I ran a 9:20 mile and finished a 5K in just over 31 minutes!  The last mile sucked, but it was still my fastest and my fastest EVER!  So once again Thank You Jenn!  

And after all that my my lame post about my First Skinny Jeans Ever seems kinda lame!

My legs still aren't perfect (I'll probably never think they are), but I have some confidence back!  The compliments on my outfit yesterday really helped.  I still have a little muffin top in these size 15s! But it won't be long and it will be gone.  I can't wait to take the next pic when they are baggy!

Maybe tomorrow I'll touch on the color of clothes...

PS - I pushed myself so much on my run this morning, the muscles in my arms and my abs were sore from keeping form!

Times are Changing...

It just amazes me how much having kids can totally screw things up...

I don't really mean that in a bad way, I'm just getting frustrated.  Kids have this unbelievable way of realizing a routine is figured out and starts actually working well, and then they need to switch shit up...

For instance our schedule had been working perfectly for almost a month (as long as Laney isn't up all night) where she goes to bed around 7:30, I feed her once around midnight 1am, then she sleeps til 5:30 or so.  This meant my alarm went off at 3:30am, I hit snooze til almost 4am and I was up and on the treadmill by 4:15.  I'd get at least a 20 minute run before doing my cool down of preparing lunch and bottles for the day.

Well the last few days Laney has decided that she likes getting up about 4:30 rather than 5:30.  And it didn't matter what time she last ate.  Monday I at least got in a 15 minute run, but yesterday and today she woke up just as I was getting ready to get on the treadmill.

There is no way in hell I'm getting up earlier to work out.  Especially if I can't go to bed any earlier and there's no guarantee I'm going to get to sleep through the night.

This post could be full of excuses, but it's not going to be.  The fact is, I need to figure out a new routine to get things back in gear.  The only "excuse" I find even remotely acceptable is not getting enough sleep.  The fact is I just can't function on less that 6 hours of sleep, especially if it's consistently only 6 hours.  My body tends to need 7-8 or I'm falling asleep at my desk.

So my plan of attack for tonight is to get my lunch and bottles done so that I have an extra 15-20 minutes in the morning to do some sort of exercise.

Along with the changing theme, my clothes are changing too... I bought this last week, but was too self conscious to wear it...

Today I bit the bullet because I had to look professional.  Hooker boots always say professional, don't they?
I've actually had several compliments today and it feels good :-)

I did realize that I need to work on my sweater options in my closet though.  I love the way sweaters look, hate the way they feel.  I need to find some nice (cheap) sweaters that are cozy and not scratchy.

It's Going to Happen...

I’ve talked about doing this before and I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I’ve decided I’m definitely going to be merging my blogs in the near future.

 There are many reasons for doing this, but the main reason is that both blogs have a lot to do with each other. I can’t talk about my weight loss journey effectively without talking about my life and family. And my weight loss journey is a huge part of my life with my family. Plus the reality is, it’s a pain in the ass to keep up with 2 blogs and think of 2 different things to right about every day. Let alone find the time to write 2 blogs in a day. 

My plan is to take the posts from both blogs and merge them into one (I’ve read it can be done). Then continue with new posts that some days may be about weight loss, some days family and kids and possibly even both.

 My question for my wonderful followers… Any suggestions for a new blog name? I feel like the title of the blog should incorporate family and fitness, but I can’t think of anything I really like. Something as simple as Fit Mommy would work, I just don’t think that really “fits” right now, it’s a status I’m trying to achieve though! And if you have any suggestions on a host to use I’m all for hearing them. I like blogger, but I know wordpress can be good too. Anyone have any other hosts, or reasons why they like more than the other?

I hope everyone sticks around through the change….

Weekly Weigh In

Finally... This proves that you can do this without actual exercise.  Though I'm not sure why you'd want to cause if you don't have tone muscle you can be thin and still look like crap.

Anyway, here it is...

I can't even explain how happy I am to finally have a loss (worth being happy about) and have it be my new lowest weight!  I'm hoping my girls stay healthy and I can get some sleep next week so I can maybe get out of the 180's.  I'm going to make my goal 175 by Halloween, but if the amount of sleep I've been getting (last night was the most all week at 5 hours, with 3 interruptions) continues I'll take any loss I can get!

I really just can't wait to get some exercise (besides walking a baby around).  My body feels neglected.

Speaking of neglected, my morning was so off that the horrible mom I am forgot to pack diapers for the baby (the girls are with my MIL instead of sitters today) so I had to stop to get a package.  Then as I'm walking into work I notice I'm wearing these...

Totally forgot to change my shoes before leaving the house this morning...TGIF!

Go Me!

Yes I am proud of this picture. 6 months ago I would have eaten the whole damn thing and thought nothing of it.  But this is where I stopped this time! 

PS - about half a cup of rice went to my daughter and not in my mouth too!

The Crap Shoot Of Life

I had all intentions of turning things around this week.  And my intention was to start on Saturday.  *Notice the use of the word intentions*  Since I was a single mom Saturday, things didn’t really pan out.  I was still feeling the effects of the depression from Friday (which a nice long run would have done wonders for) and both girls got up at the crack ass of dawn.  Really, they were both up by 7am, and yes as much as I want this, I’m not getting my ass out of bed before 6am on a Saturday or Sunday.

Then plans changed drastically.  I was supposed to watch my 11 and 2 year old cousins while my aunt and uncle attended a banquette for my mom’s pool and poker leagues.  Turns out one of the kids wasn’t feeling well.  So mom, wonderful mom that she is, offered to buy me drinks if I could find a sitter.  After several hours of trying, I came up empty handed.

Then it was Pocca (my sister, Monica) to the rescue!  She wasn’t feeling up to going out so she drove all the way home from school to watch the girls for the night so I could go out.  She’s my hero!

I had a blast!  I can honestly say I was the best looking girl in the bar, except for the one 16 year old that came in to pick up her mom.  Many of the people I hadn’t seen since having baby number one.  All the compliments I received were awesome and so welcomed, I don’t think you could have punched the smile off my face!  Here I am enjoying a treat at the end of the night…

Sunday brought on Football, where I could have eaten better, but it was pretty much all I ate all day so I didn’t really care, plus I was a little hung over.  I was happy to get a nap during the game though.

And then the real shit storm started.  Laney was up most of the night Sunday night.  I didn’t get one straight hour of sleep.  She was up when my alarm went off at 3:30 and she was still up when I normally start my workout at 4 and still up again when I’m normally showering at 5.  Needless to say I didn’t work out, or shower…  I did take her to the doctor Monday, but Monday night wasn’t the best either.  Although I did at least get to sleep in my bed for an hour straight.  I didn’t get up to work out and then woke up freaking out at 5:50 because I fell asleep feeding her at 4:30 (after turing my alarm off) and only had 30 minutes to get out the door.  Last night was a little better, but by 2am she was screaming out every half hour or so trying to comfortable.  Yeah, no workout today either.  I’m running on fumes and wondering if this little story here is even going to make sense when I’m done.  And honestly I’m not going to go back and read it, I might fall asleep right here if I do.

So here’s to hoping for more sleep tonight and the strength to get my ass out of bed in the morning…

Weekly Weigh In

I was right, today's weigh in sucked and it's my own damn fault.

185.0

I'm really disappointed with myself.  I could have done it this week and I should have!  If I had showed just a little self control on Tuesday and Wednesday of this week I would have had a decent loss of a pound I'm sure.  I really wanted to be out of the 180's by the end of this month, but it's not going to happen :-(  

I could probably come up with a million excuses, but I'm not going to because the simple truth is: If I had more self control on my food I wouldn't have had a problem.

I really need to work on not letting other's influence my eating.  And portion CONTROL!  I need to stop eating because it tastes good.  I need to only eat because I'm hungry.

This is one of those times where I would normally eat my disappointment, which would lead me to being depressed cause I did that, and the depression would lead to more eating which leads to less exercise and then I'd give up.

NOT THIS TIME.  I CAN'T.  I WON'T!  I'm only 10lbs away from what I was on my wedding day and I WANT IT!  I WILL HAVE IT!

I CAN DO THIS!

Have I convinced you yet?  I'm really trying to psych myself up here. 

Eat Healthy, Get Fit, Sleep, Repeat

Dread

Yes, I'm dreading tomorrow's weigh in.  I shot this week's work all to hell yesterday.  And yes I'm right back on the wagon today, but after the sodium and carb infested day on Wed and my inability to eat normal portions of food yesterday, I'm not expecting the scale to move at all tomorrow!

Especially since I didn't get a work out in this morning (I'm really not happy about this and it wasn't my fault) and not being able to squeeze it in tonight since B is out of town and it's bowling night.  It's gonna be a get home, pray I can get dinner made and the kids fed before I have to leave for bowling.  Oh yeah and me fed too so that I'm not eating crap at the bowling alley!

Wish me luck.

Pushing, Underwear, Sodium & Carbs

Like the title?  It's really just some random stuff that was running through my mind this morning as I was working out.  Pick your chin up off the ground, it's not that amazing that I did a full work out!

Pushing...
For some reason this week I've decided I want to push myself with my runs.  The interval running I've been pushing myself with the interval running I've been doing since 6mph is FAST for me.  But I didn't feel like I was pushing enough.  So yesterday instead of intervals I wanted to see if I could run at 5mph for an extended time.  I did it!  12 minutes at 5mph.  I'm pretty sure I was only going 4.5 last time ran for any extended amount of time.  Then this morning I decided to go for 5.5mph.  Yeah that was a little fast, but I did it for 5 minutes! and then I continued on with my normal interval and felt better when I was done.  And also my pace was under 12 minutes!!!  My goal is to have an average pace of around 11 so since I plan on sticking with just a 20 minute run for a while I'm going to keep working on my pace.

Underwear...
I'm having issues.  Seems my ass is shrinking!  Sounds great, but it means my underwear is getting lose in the ass, which means that when I run it moves around, scrunches up and whatever else I can't quite find the words to explain.  Now, I have underwear that still fit, but I get dressed for the day after my shower, which is after my morning workout.  Like most people (I'm making an assumption here) I wear the same underwear until I get in the shower again the next morning.  So I end up with issues.  Just had to vent about that...

Sodium & Carbs...
SUCK!  I ate so good yesterday!  I had over 1000 calories left for dinner and all I had was a seasoned pork chop and some stuffing.  OK, it was probably 2 servings of stuffing, but either way, I had 1000 cals left (not counting my exercise cals).  Plus I drank almost 100oz of water.  What did I wake up to this morning, a gain on the scale...  Then I remembered telling my mom the chops were a little salty tasting.  So yeah, I have a love hate relationship with sodium and carbs right now.

Now that you've read all my rambling, get off your ass and do something!

In My Head

So apparently the post I wrote yesterday was only in my head... For some reason I honestly thought I posted yesterday.  The post was something like this....

Back at it... I picked up right where I left off.  As tired and miserable as I am, right now my exercise and eating is the only thing I have control over, so I'm going to own that bitch!

Today, well I'm still owning her, just not as forcefully as yesterday.  Baby girl was up up from around 10 (I think) til almost 1 this morning.  I got up at 4:30 and still did my run.  Rather than doing the interval training I have been doing with Workout 1, I decided to just do the warm up, run the 12 minutes at 5mph and the cool down.  I had to push myself through my exhaustion, but in the end I did it and probably could have gone farther if I had the time.  I was also happy to see that I had my fastest 1K ever this morning according to Nike+.

It's amazing what a little work out and watching what you eat can do in just a day.  I was down 1.6lb in just a day! *Don't give me shit for weighing myself daily, right now it gives me motivation*

Now stop reading about my small successes and go have your own!

Weigh In - Memory Loss

Well I didn't even want to post this morning.  As I said yesterday I knew it wasn't a good week.  Secretly I was praying for one of those, "it wasn't as bad as I thought" mornings, but it was...

185.2

That's a gain of 2.2lbs.  I accept full responsibility with no excuses besides I used to many all week.  Normally this is where I'd fall off the wagon.  I haven't worked out in a week now and haven't paid much attention to what I've been eating.  At least not the way I should be.  And I certainly haven't drank all the water I should.  But starting TODAY! I am going to do better!  I'm going to plan my meals better, I'm going to drink more water and I'm going to GET OFF MY ASS!  Who's with me?

Ok, so I might not actually exercise today since I still feel like ass, but I am going to be much more conscious about what is going in my mouth and try to plan my meals for next week.  And the water has already started flowing, even though what I really want is some nice hot creamy coffee to soothe my throat.

I hate being sick, my mind just gets all cloudy and I can't remember shit.  I had a plan as to what I was going to post about today along with my weight and I can't for the life of me remember what it was now.

I hate that puckered look cause their too big!

On the plus side, I've had to wear a belt all week because the clothes that fit me just 3 weeks ago are falling off!  See that big red number up there doesn't mean much, just means I need to be careful.

Have a healthy weekend everyone!